Again.
The only place where no one will hear and the only place where I will be "listened" to.
I guess they're right when they say it's always better to say it out then bottle it down.
I guess this is my "catharsis".
Only if it works I guess.
I've been pondering though, 10 years ago I would have said to my future self what I would say to my future self 10 years from now.
"Are you living life to the fullest? I sure as he'll hope you are."
The fact that I'm not saddens me.
What have I been doing?
Why am I not living life to the fullest?
Worse, not only am I not living life to the fullest, I'm living it to the worst yet.
Comparatively to the worst of course it can't be the worst.
But as of what I have been through, I'm at my worst.
I don't even know how to describe it.
And I've changed.
Into a dick.
Whatever happened to me man.
Like seriously.
If I'm watching a video of myself and realise I will become like I am now i'd cry.
I'm pathetic.
I want to pick myself up but I don't know how.
Is this my limit?
I don't believe so and I certainly hope not.
But every once in awhile I guess I need some reassurance.
Hah.
Like a fucking weakling.
