绝望
sometimes you know you cant make it. its all over, though it realli isnt but you yourself know wad will happen for sure
its no use no matter wad you do; all is over.
or maybe you yourself know u will never make it anywhere higher
even when you yourself think that its all over and nothing can be done to change the result,
somehow someplace somewhere deep in your brain there's a 0.01% portion that feels otherwise.
it is hoping, hoping for a miracle, telling you that there is still a chance.
yet this hope brings more despair when reality hits you.
this is part of everyday life, face it.
sometimes, people make it worse. just when you convinced yourself that its all over, some lol comes along and says "hey i heard u were gonna do well!" or "why dun you try for a higher level? perhaps you can achieve more."
suddenly the 0.01% shoots up to 10%
you feel so hyped up, that someone thinks you can make it
yet
the result is the same
only you feel even worse.
how 'bout the best part
you yourself think you can make it
you have prepared everything and all that is left is to know the result
full of confidence, you receive it.
you achieved nowhere near your expectations
the confidence turns to despair and everything falls apart.
once again life has turned you down and tore everything apart.
why hope, why dream that someday some miracle will happen?
so it all ends with you lying on your bed thinking how stupid you are to believe there was still a chance,
and that next time do not even hope that anything else will happen.
what a resolve.
but the next day u still believe there is a light of hope.
so the cycle repeats and makes you go mad and crazy
but so?
its life.
